For the Love of Pumpkin

Pumpkin is my love language. As I write this I am munching on a new bag of Pumpkin Snaps from Sprouts. I began my day with pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and a side of coffee with, you guessed it, pumpkin spice creamer. I subsequently had a few pumpkin tortilla chips to hold me over until lunch, which sadly did not include pumpkin. There are, of course, any number of savory pumpkin dishes at my fingertips thanks to Pinterest. But, as I am a desert dwelling, Arizona girl, daytime temps in October still hover in the 90s. This makes it difficult to sell a pumpkin chili or pumpkin pasta dish to the fam for Sunday lunch after church.

As such, I am stuck in a strange culinary twilight zone known as “Fall in Arizona.” The calendar clearly states that we should be in full fall swing, complete with sweaters, boots, changing leaves and apple cider. However, nature betrays the calendar by offering only slightly cooler temps (yes, after spending the entirety of summer near 115 degrees, 90 qualifies as cooler.) Thus, while the rest of the country enjoys traditional fall offerings, such as the oh so delish PSL and autumn infused soups and stews, we here in the desert must sip our lattes in air conditioned comfort surrounded by faux leaves and settle for more climate friendly fare.

Although I lament the mercury’s stubborn refusal to drop, my recent weekend meal offerings prompted me to take pause with the notion that I am somehow settling for the environment in which I find myself. Afterall, all of our weather provisions, hot, cold, rainy, sunny, windy and yes, even unseasonably warm, are gifts from our Holy Father. Moreover, I know all His provisions are perfect. Indeed, mornings in the 70s that permit outdoor lounging as I sip my first cup of coffee, and afternoons in the 90s that make a salad for lunch in October seem like a natural choice are sweet blessings and ones I would be wise to appreciate and not squander.

As such, this weekend we enjoyed our favorite pumpkin muffins for breakfast and a delightful antipasto salad for our after church lunch. Indeed, both meals were lovely and seem to compliment our unique weather and our moods perfectly. Whether you find yourself surrounded by changing leaves and crisp autumn temperatures or, like me, enjoying the view from the artificially cooled comfort of your home, I hope you’ll find these recipes a perfect fit for your home and family too.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

Makes two dozen muffins

Ingredients
4 eggs
1 cup stevia baking blend (could substitute 2 cups sugar)
1 can (15 ounces) solid-pack pumpkin puree
¾ cup vegetable oil

¾ cup unsweetened applesauce
2 cups all-purpose flour*

1 cup whole wheat pastry flour (could substitute another cup of white flour)
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon salt
1 12 ounces bag dark chocolate chips

*Having recently discovered my oldest daughter is gluten intolerant, we remade these muffins using 3 cups of Pillsbury All Purpose Gluten Free Flour. They turned out beautifully. Slightly more moist than the original, but no less delicious!

Instructions
Preheat oven to 400°. Place paper liners in a regular sized muffin pan or spray generously with nonstick spray.

In a large bowl, beat the eggs, sugar, pumpkin and oil until smooth. Combine the flour, baking soda, baking powder, pumpkin pie spice and salt; Add flour mixture slowly to pumpkin mixture and mix well. Fold in chocolate chips. Fill greased or paper-lined muffin cups three-fourths to almost all the way full.

Bake for 15-17 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool in pan 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack. Makes 2 dozen muffins.

Antipasto Salad

(adapted from America’s Test Kitchen)

Makes 4 generous main dish servings

Ingredients

2 cups grape tomatoes halved
8 ounces fresh mozzarella cut into small ½ inch cubes
4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper
1/4 cup prepared basil pesto
2 1/2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 package romaine hearts (3 heads) rough chopped
1/2 cup loosely packed torn fresh basil
8 thin slices prosciutto
8 thin slices salami

Instructions

1. Toss tomatoes, mozzarella, and 1 tablespoon oil together in medium bowl and season with salt and pepper.

2. Whisk pesto, vinegar, and remaining 3 tablespoons oil together in large bowl. Add romaine hearts and basil, toss to combine, and season with salt and pepper.

3. Divide salad among 4 plates and drape 2 slices of each meat over greens. Mound portion of tomato-mozzarella mixture on top. 

Option Overload

My girls and I, after long and scenic trips on the road to health are trying a novel approach. Brace yourself: rather than seeking advice and trying to pick from the latest fad diets on the interweb, we went to scripture. I know, right? Mind. Blown.

Turns out our God has quite a lot to say about food and eating. Not the least of which is: no food is bad. No food is good for that matter. It’s just food. It’s neutral. Not evil. Not maniacal. Not righteous.  As I navigate this course and attempt to help my daughters develop a lifelong habit of eating well and honoring God by respecting their bodies, I am quickly realizing how difficult this course, and subsequent course correction may be. Although there are the usual suspects when it comes to the stumbling blocks we face when trying to balance a healthy body image and healthy lifestyle choices, namely media and peer pressure, one culprit caught me off guard.

The first step I took in helping my daughters  take ownership of their nutrition and health was to have them keep food journals. The initial response, particularly from my 13-year-old, when I announced that for the next three days there would be no food rules, no boundaries, no limits, was pure joy and unbridled excitement. That lasted until it was time for lunch.

“What’s for lunch?” my youngest daughter inquired.

“Whatever you want,” I replied. Admittedly this was difficult for a recovering food control freak.

“I know, but like what should we choose from?” My 16-year-old prodded.

“Seriously, whatever you want,” I insisted.

They were dumbstruck. For a solid 10 minutes they stood in front of the fridge unable to make a decision about what to eat for lunch. Hear this, friend, it was not from a lack of options. They could choose anything from a sandwich, to a smoothie, to a burrito, to a salad, to ramen, to a wrap, to mini pizzas, to a quesadilla or nachos, leftover pasta, a corndog, a hotpocket, a hotdog, protein bar and some yogurt or even eggs. They could choose anything. So, what was the problem?

The choice was the problem. There were too many options. My children were experiencing what many of us experience in modern society: our inability to make a choice for fear that one choice means we are missing out on something else (FOMO.)

We had a crisis of option overload.

Consider this commentary from Janice Harayda on the book The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz:

“Barry Schwartz, a social scientist at Swarthmore, makes the case in his book The Paradox of Choice that unlimited choice produces genuine suffering. The more choices we have to make, the less certainty we seem to have. When we have 285 kinds of cookies to choose from in the grocery store, how can we be sure we’ve picked the right one? And that’s just cookies. When faced with seemingly unlimited choices that have significant consequences like which stocks to invest in, which career to pursue or even which person to marry, many people become what Professor Schwartz calls ‘maximizers’: people who relentlessly search for the best option. These people spend a great deal of time and energy on choices that will never satisfy them.”

Mind. Blown. It seems our attempt to exercise our freedom to choose is really a deceptive form of slavery.

"I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"--but not everything is constructive.  1 Corinthians 10:23

It turns out unlimited choices are really another form of bondage, enslaving us to the notion that there is indeed one perfect choice and making the choice wrong will have long lasting, dire consequences. True, sometimes our choices are irreversible and of major consequence. But, honestly, probably 99.9% of the choices we agonize over are minor and of very little consequence. Case in point, I shamefully present to you my pantry:

Right now, my family has their choice of no less than 11 crackers, 6 kinds of chips, 11 varieties of cereal and oatmeal, 3 kinds of waffles, 2 lunch meats, 3 breads, 3 tortillas, 3 muffins & biscuits, 9 cheeses, approximately 10 flavors of yogurt, bacon or sausage, frozen fried chicken and frozen grilled chicken, brown or white rice, quinoa or couscous and, counting ramen, 5 pastas. I think the only thing I left out was the partridge in the pear tree.

Is it any wonder we can’t decide what to eat? And that’s just food. An examination of our closets would reveal endless clothing options and don’t even get me started on our DVD & Blu-Ray collection and the gritty Netflix and Hulu debates that erupt when we attempt to watch television together as a family. Thankfully, we eliminated cable last year and put an end to the “There’s nothing on tv” comments as we trolled through nearly 200 channels.

I find this most played out in my own life in the areas of fitness and nutrition. I commit to one kind of workout, say Barre or pilates, for maybe a week and then fear that I’ve chosen wrong and am not lifting heavy enough. Okay, onto a heavy lifting, weight training program and no cardio to develop muscle I don’t even want and, by the way, muscle my husband doesn’t find particularly attractive. All the while, I really miss my morning walks and bike rides and occasional pilates routine. I’m afraid to choose what I really want for fear I’ll get it wrong and be judged. I’m still not sure judged by whom, but I know they’re out there. And food? I know I feel best eating relatively low carb 5 or 6 days a week and feel really happy baking the indulgent treat on the weekend. But, I just read that one article on that one site by that one doctor that said I should count my macros, or no, reduce my meat consumption or maybe it was eliminate all sugar, in any form for the rest of my ever lovin’ life. Never mind listening to my body and doing what feels good for me. I must maximize my choices by doing endless amounts of research and doing what the experts say is the right thing. Yeah, that’s living, baby. That’s freedom! Ugh.

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. Galatians 5:13

So, today is my form of a personal Independence Day. This day I declare freedom from option overload and from following rules of so called experts. And, like all good revolutionaries, I’m channeling my inner Hamilton and making a plan.  Lin Manuel Miranda should be proud.

First, because stewardship is a biblical principle we try to apply to our daily lives, I am not going to throw out all of our food choices in a self righteous attempt to eliminate choice. However, also in the interest in stewardship, we will eat every morsel of food in this house before I step foot in a grocery store. I will make allowance here for the staples only: fruit and veggies, milk, butter, eggs, etc. I will note, however, that even in the “staples” we have too many choices that result in sour milk and rotten produce. As such, we will pick three fruits and three veggies per week and limit ourselves to 1% milk and almond milk (my daughter doesn’t tolerate much dairy.)

After we have exhausted all of our options, and I mean ALL (we may be eating peanut butter and jelly for dinner with a side of quinoa), we will make a simple, weekly meal plan and stick to it. Simple as in, Cheerios or eggs for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch and yes, grilled chicken, again, for dinner. I get way too caught up in Pinterest and fancy dinner recipes requiring weird ingredients. We will make more of our food from scratch, including… , oh man, I didn’t even mention our bar collection. No, not that kind of bar. I mean these bars:

Oh, the shame.

Oh, the dollars.

Exercise? For the entire month of September, (and yes I already started,) I am doing nothing other than walking and riding my bike. Between surgeries for the hubs, a driver’s license test and a new job for my oldest, soccer coaching and golf for my youngest, volunteering, church, youth and small groups, oh and homeschool, our schedule is a little ( a lot!!) full. As sort of a mental detox and a period of much needed rest for my body, I am checking out of gym trips and workout schedules. No choice to make, no options to consider. Just a walk if I have the time and maybe a bike ride with my girlies.

Simple. This seems like a nice way to kick off fall. After that, we’ll see. It could just be a nice way to live.  I am excited to discover other areas we can eliminate choice and maybe, just maybe, free up some mental real estate to think about things that really matter.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Learning to Walk

Learning to Walk

Recently, my oldest daughter and I had a day all to ourselves with nothing on the agenda except to relax and enjoy eachother’s company. These sort of days are a rarity around here, so we decided to be really productive and make the most of it. We tackled long overdue home projects, did some school work, finished sewing a couple dresses and even found time to make three loaves of bread and can a few dozen jars of homemade strawberry jam.

Nah, I’m just kidding. We totally hit Redbox and binge watched Netflix. True story.

One of the movies we rented was Victor Frankenstein, with Daniel Radcliffe and James McEvoy. Our love of period dramas and all things remotely related to Harry Potter motivated our choice. It’s a clever movie very much in the same vein as Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes. It’s not a cinematic masterpiece, but did make for some fun afternoon viewing.

Alas, this is not a movie review. This is also, not a spoiler (I hope.) That said, if you intend to watch this movie and do not wish to have any sort of clue as to the plot: stop reading. Go rent the movie, watch it, come back. Ok? Okay. I’ll wait.

Welcome back.

In the beginning of the movie, Daniel Radcliffe’s character is a circus clown. Clowns are creepy blokes and his rendition respects that time honored tradition. He is hunchbacked, unable to walk upright and treated very poorly by the other men in the circus, as though he were a slave in bondage. His fate changes however, when Dr. Frankenstein attends the circus one evening. Through a series of intense events (did you catch my circus pun?) he is freed and comes to reside with the doctor and is ultimately healed of his physical ailments. However, although the doctor “fixes” his hunchback issue, Radcliffe’s character must wear a back brace and learn to walk upright. There is no physical reason remaining that would prevent his normal movement and walking but, after spending nearly his whole life hunched over, sometimes in chains, he must now practice steadying his legs and intentionally straightening himself as he puts one foot in front of the other to walk into his new normal. 

I couldn’t help but think of the woman healed by Jesus in Luke, Chapter 13. Jesus is teaching in the synagogue on the Sabbath when he encounters a woman who had been crippled by an evil spirit for 18 years. Just as with our aforementioned clown, she was bent over and scripture tells us she “could not straighten up at all” (vs. 11.) Jesus, with just the touch of His hands and the words “you are set free” (vs. 12) cures her of her infirmity. She straightens up and immediately praises God. Although the story does not indicate as much, I can’t help but wonder if her legs weren’t a little shaky as she left the synagogue that day and whether she too had to learn to walk in her new reality as a healed woman. I bet those first few steps were uncertain as she learned to trust that she was healed rather than believe her mind which may have still “felt” crippled.  

This scenario has played out in my own life time and again. I can look back at the many victories God has given me and the numerous healings I’ve personally received at the hand of Christ and recognize that, although I knew I had been rescued and redeemed, I very often still reverted back to a crippled mindset.  I continued to walk “bent over” not yet trusting myself to straighten up and put one foot in front of the other. There were times I would dare to lift my head and walk upright, but my doubt and shame screamed at me that I was still a victim, still infirm, still in bondage. I love the words used by Jesus when he heals the crippled woman: you are set free. He doesn’t say healed, he doesn’t say made well. Free. It is her spiritual freedom that becomes the vehicle for her physical healing.

Walking in freedom is a bit of a learning curve. We are so used to living in chains and being in bondage, when we are healed we don’t even know how to take those first steps into shame free, guilt free living. Our gait is wobbly and unfamiliar and we are tempted to to just hunch our backs and crawl back to the life we used to know. We, just like the circus clown, often need a “brace.” We need something, or someone, to remind us we can stand upright and brace against the lies of the enemy as he tries to convince us we are still our old chained up, face hiding, bent over selves.

It’s not easy to start walking in freedom, mostly because it feels so unnatural. Although God gave me freedom and loosed my chains, my old self wants to stay in the old reality of what other’s say I am or what the enemy wants me to believe I am. I am tempted to keep slave living not because it is abundant or empowering, but because it is familiar, comfortable, and yes, safe. Every time I start to make progress and take those first unsure, shaky steps into freedom, I stop and run back because I can’t dare to imagine that I could be anything other than woman I’ve known for so long.

But once you’ve breathed even the slightest fresh air of freedom, you can never really go back to the stench of bondage. Once you catch a glimpse of your chain free, upright self, the image is stained in your mind and you can’t shake the desire to walk free, no matter how shaky those first steps might feel. This is the freedom for which we were designed. This is freedom and victory I want to claim. I know it will be difficult to settle in to my new normal, to embrace the uncertainty of a future without the familiar labels and lies, but there is no other choice. Even though it is scary and unknown, freedom is life. 

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 (emphasis added)

Wisdom Lost, Wisdom Gained

The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom, and their tongues speak what is just. Psalm 37:30

My oldest brilliant and beautiful girl, although beyond wise for her age (or any age), has not been uttering or speaking much the last few days. Thankfully, this is not the result of a self imposed teenage drama or misguided parental protest. No, actually my girl had her wisdom teeth removed. My little chipmunk has been a trooper and remained very obedient to all the instructions receievd from her doctor,  including timing her medicines precisely and faithfully applying her bandages and ice packs. Additionally, she has received the very best care from my youngest brilliant and beautiful girl. I must say, watching my littlest little tend to, care for and pray over her big sister and best friend has been so precious. What an honor to have a front row seat to their so sweet relationship.

However, despite her diligence and her sister’s exemplary care, her petite, fragile face cannot hide the trauma that happened inside and she bears all the signs of having been put through the ringer. But, we are beginning to see improvements, she is healing and we are thankful for God’s mercies as she has had no complications. 

We’re not all that different, are we? Despite our best efforts to put on a good face and play by the rules, most of the time, we cannot hide what is happening underneath the surface for very long. Our fragile constitutions eventually give us away. In fact, as I meditate on Psalm 37:30, I am struck by the fact that we usually expose the trauma and out ourselves through our words, whether spoken or stuffed. Our failure to utter wisdom and speak justice become outward signs of inward unrest.

I am comforted though, that just as my daughter is healing and eventually there will be no signs of surgery, I can be healed, from the inside out. When I seek the right treatment in the form of God’s word and seek rest with my Savior, the signs of my trauma begin to fade. My utterances turn from harsh to humble and my tongue sings new songs of praise and justice. I pray that I would be as diligent as my daughter in seeking not only the healing my heart needs, but the only Healer who can provide the remedy.

On a much lighter note, my daughter’s surgery and recovery provided lots of opportunities for me to engage in an activity that always restores and calms me: cooking. Unable to eat solid foods for two weeks, she requested all of her favorites from mashed potatoes to homemade applesauce. I was more than happy to put on my apron and care for my family in the language of food.

One particular dish she requested straight away was Spicy Butternut Squash Soup. Normally a fall staple in my house, this creamy, soothing soup was just the comfort my girl needed. As an added bonus, it is super healthy and super simple to make.

Spicy Butternut Squash Soup (adapted from America’s Test Kitchen)

Serves 4 (this recipe is easily doubled and freezes beautifully!)

Ingredients

1 medium butternut squash: peeled, seeded, and cut into 1 1/2-inch chunks
3 medium shallots: peeled and quartered
1/4 cup vegetable oil
Salt and pepper
4 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 tablespoon honey
1 teaspoon lime juice
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 cup heavy cream
1 tablespoon minced chipotle chiles in adobo sauce (you can remove seeds to reduce the heat, depending on your familie’s tolerance)

Instructions

1. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 450 degrees. Toss squash, shallots, oil, 1 teaspoon salt, and ½ teaspoon pepper in large bowl, then arrange in single layer in large roasting pan. Roast, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are golden brown and softened, about 35-40 minutes. Add ½ cup broth to pan and scrape up any browned bits with wooden spoon. Return to oven and cook until liquid has reduced and vegetables are glazed, about 5 minutes.         

The simplest way to peel the squash is to cut it in half at the neck and use a small knife or vegetable peeler to remove the tough outer skin.                                                                                                                              

Once peeled, quarter the squash and scoop out the seeds. Toss the squash, shallot, oil, salt and pepper together before roasting.

                                                         

2. Working in 2 batches, puree squash mixture and remaining broth in blender until smooth. Transfer pureed squash mixture to large saucepan and stir in honey, lime juice, cumin, and cream. Bring soup to simmer over medium-low heat. Just prior to serving, stir in chiles.      

The roasted squash and onions will make your house smell amazing!                                                      

        Bring to a simmer and add the chiles. Your super yummy, super simple soup is ready.

                              

   

I hope your family enjoys this comforting soup as much as mine. It really is quite simply, so lovely.

Begin to Finish

This moring I finished a 30 day devotion. Admittedly, it took me about 35 days, but I did indeed finish. I was so excited when the congratulatory note popped up on my computer screen celebrating my accomplishment. Why did I get such a rush and sense of pride from this seemingly, insignificant victory?

I've come to the realization there is one thing in particular at which I excel and am quite consistent in completing. However, my abnormal skill at doing this one thing leaves me feeling defeated and frustrated. My over-achiever status in this department causes me to engage in negative self-talk; the likes of which I would be appalled to say to anyone other than the inside of my own mind. So, what is this one thing that I am confident I can do as good or better than just about anyone else? Quit. Yep, I am a serial quitter. If things get hard? Quit. Something else looks better or more fun? Quit. A news report or Pinterest post indicates there is something superior, more effective, or just plain easier than what I am doing? Quit. All of this quitting, and my failure and fear to commit to something means I never finish anything. Fact: I cannot remember the last thing I saw through to completion other than the last season of Parenthood on Netflix or a strong cup of coffee. (I’m still recovering from Parenthood, btw.)

Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil. Proverbs 4:25-27

When it comes to finishing things, Jesus set the ultimate example. With His last utterance, "It is finished," He stated unequivocally that He had, despite unimaginable obstacles and pain, completed what He came to earth to complete. In fact, it is because of His perseverance, obedience and steadfast spirit that I even have the freedom, will and ability to finish tasks set before me. Yet, I don't claim or walk in this victory. Just like the Old Testament Israelites, I return to the slavery and bondage of my old familiar ways. When I embark on a new journey and begin to enter a new land, I get scared or overwhelmed and run for the comfort of what I know, even if I know it's not what is best for me. Consequently, I fear I've never experienced the full measure of God's blessing in my life. Moreover, my failure to finish is not a victimless crime. As my very wise pastor likes to remind us, more is caught than taught when it comes to child rearing. Oh boy. I can only imagine the infectious diseases I've passed on to my daughters: complacency, lack of integrity, fear and the tendency to give up right before it gets really good. The fact that my daughters are vibrant, accomplished, talented go-getters is living proof of the mighty work of God and evidence the Holy Spirit can and does trump my parenting inadequacies. 

So, what are these huge mountains I fail to climb and the grand goals I never see through to completion? That's just the thing. The bulk of the stuff I quit isn't comprised of insurmountable obstacles or earth shattering commitments. I give up on stuff like DIY projects, books, workout programs, puzzles, better eating choices, or devotional reading plans.

But, as I am now realizing, I'll never work up to scaling higher mountains or shooting for the stars if I don't first start with some baby steps and get some wins.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. Colossians 3:23

I need to exercise some discipline in my life and exhibit a little stick-to -itness.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.  2 Timothy 1:7

I need to invite in some accountability and submit to someone I trust to have authority over me in these areas.

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

I need to see some things through to completion and experience the blessings of God. In doing so, my faith will grow and my desire to move from tackling small hills just might grow to summiting some mountains.

...Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

I suppose this brings us to the part where I get specific about my goals and publicly commit to finishing a few things. While I have definitely started a list and have invited the accountability and authority of the hubs, I will let you in on a few in the hope that, for all my fellow serial quitters, it may inspire you to make a list of your own. I examined my life in the spiritual, physical and emotional areas and committed to the following:

1) Complete the CCV Bible in a year plan. I used to do this every year but haven't done so in about 3 years. I am happy to report I started on January 4 and have stayed up to date.

2) Complete the 8 week 'I Quit Sugar Plan' by Sarah Wilson. I bought this book last summer on vacation and never touched it after we returned home.  Not gonna lie, this sort of feels like a mountain. The stuff is everywhere and I love the stuff. I began today, February 3.

3) Complete a 60 day workout plan. The hangup with workouts for me is not that I stop working out, but that I jump from plan to plan and switch routines like it's going out of style. I definitely suffer from shiny object syndrome (SOS) when it comes to fitness. As such, I have chosen a plan that I can see through from start to finish. The goal is to complete the plan and then share my results and write a review of the same. Whoa - that’s like two goals in one. Go me!

4) Complete the two books I am currently reading, Soul Keeping by John Ortberg and Love Does by Bob Goff, this month. Thereafter, complete one book per month.

5) Finish painting the chalkboard walls in my office and my girls’ rooms. This is one of those DIY projects that I began and almost finished. Completing this project isn’t just for my benefit, or for aesthetics. Painting the walls says to my girls that I am a mother who does what she says is going to do when she says she is going to do it. Integrity: something I want them to catch.

6) Complete the puzzle on which I am currently working and have been since November. I know this may seem like a silly goal, but puzzles are something I really enjoy and help me to relax. Thus, if I commit time to finishing a puzzle, what I am really committing to is carving out some down time in my crazy schedule just for me. 

My actual list is longer and includes things like gardens, sewing projects, new recipes and bible studies. Also, it should be noted, it incudes a book. Not a book to be read, but one to be written. This is an idea that was started long ago in my heart and mind and whose time has come to be finished. Alas, I’d better get writing. For it will never be done if I fail to begin.

And yes, all those checkmarks in my journal denoting tasks and projects that have been seen through to the end are to me, quite simply, so lovely.

xoxo

Happy and Holy

For years, okay for-ev-er, I resisted making resolutions. If everybody else was making resolutions, then you could count me out. This is not out of character for me at all. Without much information or even a quick a google search, I will summarily reject ideas, opinions and trends if I deem them too mainstream or in the category of "everybody's doing it."  I offer Crossfit and essential oils as exhibits A and B. Can't do it, won't do it. But alas, I've been bombarded with the requisite media stories telling me either not to make resolutions at all or how to not fail after a three day trial run at a new me for the new year.

It all got me thinking.

In an attempt at personal growth, I decided to revisit my resistance to resolutions. In the past I offered all sorts of excuses, um, I mean reasons, for not making resolutions. I had such clever and witty maxims like, "I don't make resolutions, I set goals." Or how about: "My goal is to help others reach their goals. It takes the focus off me and helps me avoid pride." I know, I know. Do people really say things like that? Evidently. But man,  I get a little sick in my mouth just reading it. Why? Because when I get down off my high horse long enough to honestly examine why I don't make resolutions, I'm left with two glaringly obvious reasons: fear and pride.

I do not make resolutions because I am afraid of what people would think of me if they knew the real me. If I went "public" with the things that mattered to me or goals I hoped to achieve I am afraid others would think I was silly or simple. I fear I might look stupid. I am afraid I might fail. And all this fear of what people think of me? All of the weighing success verses failure probability before moving forward? Yep, it's just pride.

Where does all this fear and pride stem from?

I have long labored under the belief that happiness and holiness are mutually exclusive. That is, to be a "real disciple" I must be suffering. To quote the great Garrison Keillor, I've always believed things could be worse and I am just waiting for them to become so. If at any moment I felt too happy or too content, I was convinced that I wasn't serving enough, praying enough, giving enough or, indeed, suffering enough. I understand the difference between happiness and  joy. I know that happiness is circumstantial and temporary. Moreover, I firmly believe that my permanent joy is found in my salvation and my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. But, the fallacy that has plagued me is that happiness, because it is fleeting and fluid, is somehow sinful. Thus, anything that brings me a moment of happiness or pleasure must, by it's very nature, be silly, stupid, simple and shameful. Oh how I limit my Mighty God when I dismiss His good gifts and blessings that bring me happiness. I shun the things that bring me pleasure out of guilt. This is not of God. This is not good fruit. This is a lie the enemy has told me. This is a lie I resolve to no longer believe.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ~ James 1:17

I plan to make a few resolutions this year. I want this to be a year of no fear. My first resolution seems pretty obvious and maybe even easy. For me, however, this is a doozy. My first resolution is this: Find what makes me happy, and do more of that. Do more of that without shame or apology. Do more of that without guilt or embarrassment. Do more of what makes me happy without fear.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. ~ John 10:10

I'm pretty sure doing more of what makes me happy could make life quite simply, so lovely.

- xoxo

More Treats, Less Tricks

I suppose this post comes a little late as Halloween is behind us this year. However, in my attempt to go against my nature and be optimistic, I prefer to think of this as my effort to help you get a head start on next year's frivolities.

Halloween was a bit frantic for us this year as it fell on a Saturday.  As such, our usual traditions had to be tweaked to accomodate our Saturday night church service.  Ministry life is never dull and always provides opportunity to learn flexibility. But, as we see Halloween as one of the biggest ministry nights of the year, we were happy to rearrange our schedule and do a bit of rushing to pull it off. After all, on what other night of the year do all of your neighbors willingly show up on your doorstep?

Normally, our Halloween meal happens right before we head out the door. However, as we would be at church from 3:30-6, we moved our festive meal to lunch. As it turns out, we all liked this better. We were less rushed, weren't worried about messing up costumes with ketchup and we actually sat, lingered and enjoyed our creepy, culinary creations.

Our Halloween meal is the same every year and has been since, well, I don't remember when this wasn't how we nourished our girls before sending them out to beg for and collect copious amounts of sugar. We begin with mummy dogs, comlplete with creepy clove eyes and Halloween pasta salad. These recipes could not be easier and make for a quick, fun meal before any of your Halloween shenanigans.

                         

These "recipes" are so simple it seems like an insult to your intelligence to include them. However, if you are anything like I was when my kiddos were still ankle biters, culinary creations, no matter how simple, may not be your gifting. For you sister, I include the step by step directions to putting a spooky, spectacular meal on your Halloween table.

Mummy Dogs

Pop open a can of  refrigerated crescent rolls.  These come eight to a can and you will want to unroll the dough and lay them all flat. Next, cut them into thin strips, about 1/4 inch each. I use a pizza cutter for this and it makes it a snap. Wrap your mummy: using one crecscent  (now cut into strips) per dog, wrap your hot dog, leaving space for the "eyes." (See picture) Place on parchment paper on a cookie sheet. Once all your dogs are wrapped and ready, bake at 350 for about 12-15 minutes. Finish off with 2 whole cloves inserted for eyes.

Halloween Pasta Salad

Every year I get my Halloween pasta from World Market. The kids like it because it's fun shapes - bats, brooms & pumpkins. I like it because the fun orange and purple colors come from vegetables. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere this counts as a serving of veggies. Okay, maybe not. I digress. Boil the pasta according to package directions, rinse in cool water. Add a can of black olives, a bage of parmesean cheese and a bunch of creamy Casaer dressing (homemade is easy and delish, but as you're also serving hot dogs wrapped in refrigerated rolls and sending your kids out to collect a bucket-o-sugar, store bought works just fine.) Refrigerate for a couple hours. Boom. Done.

Of course, no Halloween is complete without carving pumpkins. Again, our ability to be flexible with our normal celebration proved beneficial this year. We had no time in our busy schedule to carve pumpkins before October 31 this year. Know what happens when you wait until the last minute to buy your pumpkins? You get them for a penny a piece. Not a penny per pound. One pumpkin, one penny. True story. Winco for the win!

While my girls opted for socially relevant pumpkins and went with rather cute emogy faces, I had the opportunity to finally try a carving method I pin to my Pinterest boards every year but somehow never get around to attempt. The hubs helped my use a drill to "carve" a modern, geometric pumpkin. Who knew simple circles could create such a stunning effect. It was so simple, and we loved the result. I'm hooked and think I may be using this method each year.

Finally, I had the privilege this year, once again, to make a costume for my littlest little. We've been making homemade costumes for the last few years once we discovered how fun, easy and crazy inexpensive they are to pull off. This year we made a red, white and blue tutu to complete her Captain America Costume.  It really was sew simple (see what I did there!): the white tulle is stitched to an elastic band and we looped red and blue tulle around the band and tied bows on the end. Easy, peasy, lemon squeazy.

I learned something on Halloween this year that has turned out to be a recurring theme in my studies. If I didn't know better, I would say God was trying to get my attention. When I loosen my grip on my plans, when I surrender control and stop making idols of my schedules and my will, I get out of the way for God to do some pretty cool stuff. Admittedly, I was initially bummed that we wouldn't get to eat our usual Halloween dinner. I was disappointed that we didn't carve pumpkins earlier in the week so we could put them on display on the porch. But in the end, when I let go of all that stress and worry, I was able to grasp the blessings God was trying to provide in the form of time with family and friends, opportunities to be a good steward and maybe even the beginnings of new traditions that coud make next year's Halloween quite simply, so lovely. 

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9

xoxo