Learning to Walk
Recently, my oldest daughter and I had a day all to ourselves with nothing on the agenda except to relax and enjoy eachother’s company. These sort of days are a rarity around here, so we decided to be really productive and make the most of it. We tackled long overdue home projects, did some school work, finished sewing a couple dresses and even found time to make three loaves of bread and can a few dozen jars of homemade strawberry jam.
Nah, I’m just kidding. We totally hit Redbox and binge watched Netflix. True story.
One of the movies we rented was Victor Frankenstein, with Daniel Radcliffe and James McEvoy. Our love of period dramas and all things remotely related to Harry Potter motivated our choice. It’s a clever movie very much in the same vein as Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes. It’s not a cinematic masterpiece, but did make for some fun afternoon viewing.
Alas, this is not a movie review. This is also, not a spoiler (I hope.) That said, if you intend to watch this movie and do not wish to have any sort of clue as to the plot: stop reading. Go rent the movie, watch it, come back. Ok? Okay. I’ll wait.
Welcome back.
In the beginning of the movie, Daniel Radcliffe’s character is a circus clown. Clowns are creepy blokes and his rendition respects that time honored tradition. He is hunchbacked, unable to walk upright and treated very poorly by the other men in the circus, as though he were a slave in bondage. His fate changes however, when Dr. Frankenstein attends the circus one evening. Through a series of intense events (did you catch my circus pun?) he is freed and comes to reside with the doctor and is ultimately healed of his physical ailments. However, although the doctor “fixes” his hunchback issue, Radcliffe’s character must wear a back brace and learn to walk upright. There is no physical reason remaining that would prevent his normal movement and walking but, after spending nearly his whole life hunched over, sometimes in chains, he must now practice steadying his legs and intentionally straightening himself as he puts one foot in front of the other to walk into his new normal.
I couldn’t help but think of the woman healed by Jesus in Luke, Chapter 13. Jesus is teaching in the synagogue on the Sabbath when he encounters a woman who had been crippled by an evil spirit for 18 years. Just as with our aforementioned clown, she was bent over and scripture tells us she “could not straighten up at all” (vs. 11.) Jesus, with just the touch of His hands and the words “you are set free” (vs. 12) cures her of her infirmity. She straightens up and immediately praises God. Although the story does not indicate as much, I can’t help but wonder if her legs weren’t a little shaky as she left the synagogue that day and whether she too had to learn to walk in her new reality as a healed woman. I bet those first few steps were uncertain as she learned to trust that she was healed rather than believe her mind which may have still “felt” crippled.
This scenario has played out in my own life time and again. I can look back at the many victories God has given me and the numerous healings I’ve personally received at the hand of Christ and recognize that, although I knew I had been rescued and redeemed, I very often still reverted back to a crippled mindset. I continued to walk “bent over” not yet trusting myself to straighten up and put one foot in front of the other. There were times I would dare to lift my head and walk upright, but my doubt and shame screamed at me that I was still a victim, still infirm, still in bondage. I love the words used by Jesus when he heals the crippled woman: you are set free. He doesn’t say healed, he doesn’t say made well. Free. It is her spiritual freedom that becomes the vehicle for her physical healing.
Walking in freedom is a bit of a learning curve. We are so used to living in chains and being in bondage, when we are healed we don’t even know how to take those first steps into shame free, guilt free living. Our gait is wobbly and unfamiliar and we are tempted to to just hunch our backs and crawl back to the life we used to know. We, just like the circus clown, often need a “brace.” We need something, or someone, to remind us we can stand upright and brace against the lies of the enemy as he tries to convince us we are still our old chained up, face hiding, bent over selves.
It’s not easy to start walking in freedom, mostly because it feels so unnatural. Although God gave me freedom and loosed my chains, my old self wants to stay in the old reality of what other’s say I am or what the enemy wants me to believe I am. I am tempted to keep slave living not because it is abundant or empowering, but because it is familiar, comfortable, and yes, safe. Every time I start to make progress and take those first unsure, shaky steps into freedom, I stop and run back because I can’t dare to imagine that I could be anything other than woman I’ve known for so long.
But once you’ve breathed even the slightest fresh air of freedom, you can never really go back to the stench of bondage. Once you catch a glimpse of your chain free, upright self, the image is stained in your mind and you can’t shake the desire to walk free, no matter how shaky those first steps might feel. This is the freedom for which we were designed. This is freedom and victory I want to claim. I know it will be difficult to settle in to my new normal, to embrace the uncertainty of a future without the familiar labels and lies, but there is no other choice. Even though it is scary and unknown, freedom is life.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1 (emphasis added)
